Wishing Examples
Why can’t you just do what you are supposed to?
Ever had this thought, as a professional or parent? Wishing for another person to be different, to change? Truth is, it’s not often possible. And in fact can be a great source of frustration, resentment, and energy drain.
Years ago, when I came back from the climbing trip I wrote about in my last post, I noticed myself becoming increasingly frustrated with my son, who was around 8 at the time. I wanted him to be more independent. However, he has a physical disability which limits his control over his body. (Makes my impatience even less reasonable, I know.) Why can’t I just accept these limitations and move on?
But it’s hard right? We want things to be better, for them and for us. If I’m honest though, I also just wanted things to be easier.
Then I started thinking about that rock climb I fell on. About how I kept wishing for the rock to change. It sounds ridiculous right? But it was the same situation. My son wasn’t magically going to change overnight. Maybe with time, sure. But at that moment, I needed to change. To learn patience and acceptance from him.
Around the same time, I had a difficult situation with a co-worker. God help the person who had to deliver some bad or controversial news to them! I remember we had to temporarily pause a major release to fix an issue. The eng team was already working on addressing it, but when I relayed the update to this person, they screamed obscenities and slapped the desk!
But you know what? It wasn’t really about me. They had some stuff going on. I had cultivated a good working relationship, and I realized what was happening. So instead of reacting I was able to have grace, stay calm, and ask for the support we needed. To flow around the problem. To adapt, and keep moving forward.
Within a couple months, everyone was talking about the positive impact to the business, not the minor delay we experienced initially.
Who (or what behavior) do you find challenging? How can you practice acceptance and adapt?
